And the story begins!

It has been an amazing two days work wise and I think I'm beginning to fall in love with this lovely city. I was able to speak to three women for my research. Oh where do I begin with these interviews! 

The first one was with the director of a prominent development institute in Jordan - I cannot say more for the purpose of confidentiality. There were two things in particular that I remember for popular conversation: her views on the Arab Spring and a barrier she mentioned to women’s advancement. 

First, the Arab Spring. She is extremely frustrated with the West for expecting the Arab Spring to cause a 180 degree shift in the attitudes of Arab countries with regards to women. She made an great historical comparison: remember the World War? The Rosie the Riveter analogy very much describes women’s role in the revolutions. However, just like American women, these Arab females are being asked to go back to their traditional roles. How easily, she said, the West forgets that they too had these struggles. If it took an evolutionary process for us, why are we expecting a revolutionary process in Arab nations? It is a fair question. Are we, once again, guilty of setting a double standard? Well, we do have to learn from the past. That is why we work so hard to preserve it, so we are not doomed to repeat the same mistakes. Let's get it right the first time around this time - that is the whole spirit behind the push.

Second, she cited as a main barrier to development, women themselves. Sometimes, she said, we are our own worst enemies. How true! This, of course, applies to the status of women in the West as well. As this came up, I couldn’t help but remember that eloquent Mean Girls scene, where Tina Fey says: “You have got to stop calling each other bitches and whores. It only makes it okay for guys to call you that.” There is a dichotomy of beauty versus brains, career versus family that we women create for ourselves and this in turn, allows society to categorize us in this way too. Usually, the traditional ‘female’ part of that dichotomy wins. So if we want to see real change, let’s stop talking about Hilary Clinton’s poor choice in headbands, ladies, and focus on her politics. 

The second interview was with a political activist within a women’s NGO in Jordan. This woman was something! She knew little English, but was full of spirit and hospitality. She insisted on a cup of coffee (the norm) and sat me down with her two assistants in a little research center she runs on the side. She’s quite senior, as she had been lobbying for women’s issues for 35 years. She was too nervous to be interviewed and instead, suggested that she respond to the questions via e-mail. And so, instead, we had coffee and chatted in her little sun-filled office, with her two assistants watching us closely. The conversation went from politics, to the Arab Spring, to women, to India, to Jordan, to our families. Her broken English and non-existent knowledge of Arabic did not put up too much of a barrier. Indeed, it added to the flavour of the whole situation. It was something. I felt like I was talking to a war veteran - I suppose she is, in a sense, the veteran of a cold war. 

I felt a bit like Alice having tea with the mad hatter, not in the sense that my host was crazy, quite the contrary in fact. However, the complex stories that fate had to weave to bring those four characters to that table was as formidable as Alice’s situation. Moreover, the rhythm with which the whole thing progressed, and just the quaintness of the entire situation was very much like that tea party. It was both amusing and extremely significant for reasons that are not yet known to me. 

The last interview was with an expert on women and leadership, especially in the Arab World. Her house was beautiful and she had a soft, academic aura that followed her as she led me into her living room. The most important part of this meeting, was the end. We were finished the interview and we began going back and forth about women, in the Arab world and the West. In that conversation, I think I might have begin to formulate some of the connections I was looking for. I will reserve comments on this for the end, when there is more of a story to include. However, the passion that ebbed from that conversation made my eyes sparkle. What different lives the two of us had led, and yet we sat comfortably in her living room, chatting like old friends! The world is small after all.